When your Heart catches up to your Head

Yesterday my youngest son, Cal, turned 7.

Each year Cal's birthday causes me to ponder. I ask questions like... What was Cal like a year ago today? How has he changed over the past year? How has he grown? What do I hope Cal will be like a year from now?

But yesterday's yearly pondering brought a new question. How have Cal's birthdays changed me as a teacher?

I think it is safe to say that being a parent changes people. And from an educational standpoint, I think it is safe to say that being a parent changes how those people teach. Most teachers can tell a story about the "super-strict teacher" who became a parent and overnight became the "super-caring teacher". I realize those are gross generalizations, but in some cases the generalizations are true. Often, parenthood causes teachers to realize that, in the words of my friend Thom Jacquet, "every child is someone's baby." And as I said before, often that realization leads to a change in how people teach. I can speak for myself when I say that becoming a parent changed how I teach.

I decided to see if there was any research on this idea of "teacher-parents" -- there wasn't. But while looking at some educational blogs and websites, I found this story.

While I loved the idea of the Hopes and Dreams Wall, another part of the story caught my attention. I was truly fascinated by the list of hopes and dreams mentioned by parents for their children. Not one of those hopes and dreams listed was about making a certain grade in a class. Not one parent dreamed of an end of the year award for their child. None of those hopes and dreams mentioned Advanced Placement courses. Instead, parents hoped and dreamed for skills and values that would make their children productive members of society in the future.

And then I came full circle. I began to ask new questions, similar to my first, but a bit more like what was asked of the parents who labeled the Hopes and Dreams Wall. I began to ask questions like... What kind of child is Cal? How might he change in the future? How might he grow? What do I hope Cal will be like 15 years from now?

My answers looked a lot like those hopes and dreams listed by the parents in Columbus, Ohio. Really, I just want Cal to have skills and values that make him a productive member of society in the future.

And again, the pondering brought a new question. How should my hopes and dreams for Cal's future change me as a leader in my school?

I think it is safe to say that being a parent has changed how I think children should be educated. And, I think it is safe to say that being a parent has changed how I think teachers should teach. I've been hearing about student centered classrooms for years now, but yesterday I actually wished that for Cal. And yesterday I connected my hopes and dreams for my child with the hopes and dreams of all parents for their children. If a student centered classroom is what I want for Cal, then it should be what I want for every child. And, again it seems I can speak for myself when I say that becoming a parent has changed me as a leader in my school.

It seems that yesterday my heart caught up with my head.